Game of Thrones | Zoe The Writer

Game of Thrones has a Hair Issue and it totally should not be the case. I’m sure you’re wondering ‘Wtf is she going on about? All the hair situations in GoT seem completely legit for an epic fantasy’. Yes, the higher people of our beloved series go through a lot to bring us some life-like and realistic depictions of Westeros and it’s people but… the hair. A simple thing that makes me cringe every time I watch the show. See, I’ve read (like half of) the books and even a person who hasn’t read A Song of Ice and Fire and has been simply listening whenever anybody talks of that dreadful book with all the lineages of Westerosi highborns, will see the laziness of the make-up and hair folks when it comes to this. Now I get that some things cannot be made to be exactly like in the books because you can’t make people taller or give them square jaws or make them the most handsome guy/girl in the land. It can’t all be perfect but the hair? The hair guys? It’s just dye and/or extensions!

Also, there might be spoilers here, just from the general show and stuff. You’re a loser for not watching.

Ned Stark, before he got his head chopped off, was pretty obsessed with the hair of the Baratheons. His obsession led to a lot of deaths, namely his and like a lot of dark haired boys – so it’s pretty hard to forget that the Baratheon seed is super strong. They have black, not dark, but specifically black hair and blue eyes.

Uhm…

Huh?

They didn’t even bother to give them blue contact lenses. Tisk tisk. Sloppy.

The Lannisters are supposed to have this amazing golden hair situation – they describe them as fair-haired to be exact. Now, I’ve seen people who call themselves fair-haired and I’ve seen enough stock images and nordic models to know what the hell that hair is supposed to look like. So here are the highest of the highest Lannisters and only their sister has this weird ass hair colour. Funny thing is, they all had this light blonde hair in the first season for the first few episodes and I understand that the brothers fell on hard times while their sister remained unmoved but they came back home, why is their hair still dusty?

Apparently, Tyrion’s golden hair is one of his only redeeming ‘Lannister’ qualities – that and paying his debts. Why would anyone take that away from him? Now I look at him and I’m like Fair-haired or Ginger?

Also, really Jaime?

What happened to this guy?

Unnecessary.

And you House Stark… Whats is so hard about dark brown hair and grey eyes? What’s so difficult in sticking to the script and giving Catelyn’s other four kids auburn hair?!

Part of the reason Catelyn Stark (nee Tully) hates Jon the bastard boy is because none of her children took any of the Stark physical features (well, except Arya). The rest just turned out looking like Tullys and here comes Jon looking like the only legit son of Ned, and that ticked Cat right off. But you can’t see that in the damn show! They keep on changing Robb’s hair between dark brown and chestnut and sometimes the correct auburn colour, and they don’t even bother with Bran and Rickon. Guys, auburn hair…

WHAT’S

HARD?!

Also, why the hell do these Stark men have pitch black hair? Why on earth did the GoT guys spinarooney the Starks and the Baratheons?! It’s so bloody confused!

Kudos on the gorgeous grim Stark faces but this hair is supposed to be brown! 😦

It’s unfair that they only concentrated on getting the Targaryens spot on – they even got Dany the violet contact lenses! Although I’m sure now that there are many more mistakes that could’ve been helped in my favourite show – these are the little ones that irritate me. And this is where I will end my post-Season-4-finale-trauma-fuelled rant. Goodbye and Valar Morghulis.

It is a common bad habit among really great shows to make fans wait a whole year before a new season starts (Looking at you, Sherlock). This isn’t just cruel and unusual punishment because a year is a friggin long time, but also because these shows just enjoy taking the piss out of us in the form of seriously intense, soul murdering cliffhanger finales. But the month before a beloved show returns is always so hard for me because I suffer from marginal terminal anxiety (this is not a thing). And sometimes as a human being, when you’re frustrated and can’t keep it inside, you have to let it all out and shout it from the rooftops. So I did that. Through Twitter.

It all started off very innocent actually…