Tag Archives: Movies

Throwback Thursday: Does anybody remember The Covenant?

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My friend, Janine started a podcast on 90s and noughties boy band culture and how it contributed to our lives as young lasses. Her first podcast was this week, go check it out – she sings there and you’ll probably agree with most of the stuff she says, like how bizarro song lyrics were or how she thought Zac and Tyler were actually girls for the longest time. Side note: My life would have taken an interesting turn at a very young age if Zac Hanson was actually a chick – because I heart him forever no matter what. So in the spirit of the original fangirl makers and heartthrobs who brought on our musical and later sexual awakening, we’re remembering the movie The Covenant today.

In the year 2006, I was a teen and watched a lot of teen rubbish like High School Musical and other awesome stuff like the Harry Potter series. These were all cute, amazing things that girls my age watched, about boys and girls our age, and we loved them. It was cool. Then one day, this movie with teen boys with nice hair and abs and cars happened. Or as one Tumblr user puts it “Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch and Chace Crawford as 2000′s homoerotic, bad boy, swimmer warlocks”. As a fan of The Craft – which is kinda like The Covenant but with girls?(Not really) I lost my shit when I saw this film.

Where do I begin? Well, apart from the three counted above, who we later get to know as Bucky from Captain America (Chase), Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights (Pogue) and Nate from Gossip Girl (Tyler), there’s Reid, who is the bigger bad boy of the group of friends and the proud owner of the famous line “Harry Potter can kiss my ass!”

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And then there’s Mr Original Dark and Mysterious, Caleb who was played by STEVEN STRAIT – Edward Cullen who? No seriously, how did that guy make us think he was the good kind of dark and mysterious? He was creepy. Anyway, what ever happened to bloody Steven Strait, you guys? Like, he was literally the hottest of these dudes and now he’s just not around – like Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray or something. Steven Strait was the the 2000’s answer to Jon Snow/Kit Harrington (or is it Kit Harrington is now the answer to Steven Strait?). I’d like to point out at this point (hehe) that these were very cool names and these dudes were collectively known as The Sons of Ipswich. Did any teen girl have a choice faced with so much 2000s swag?

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Sebastian “I’m going to make you my Wee-yotch” Stan was actually the bad guy in this movie – he was ‘not’ a son of Ipswich; he was a cute sassy villain and he owned his part. They all did, which is probably why we still see most of them around. They made this cheesy little flick a personal witch/warlock/supernatural classic of mine and I’m forever greatful for all those six-packs. Thank you.

I thought this was a trailer but it seems somebody managed to summarise the whole movie in under 4 minutes over a cool Breaking Benjamin track (also so 2000s), so you can watch it. For real, watch it. Popular opinion: The Covenant sucks. Tell that to 17 year old Zoe. Or even 26 year old me – I love this movie!

In conclusion (regarding my whole entire life in the blogosphere): 

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Mockingjay happened and I fell back in love with Jennifer Lawrence

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Well, actually I think love is a strong word. I just stopped hating her and I actually appreciated that she’s a beautifully convincing actress once more. My mind blowing experience with Mockingjay was mainly because of the movie’s all round effect on me, the parts that gave me goosebumps were mainly the parts with the actual revolution and not the little personal wars within.

Let me start here, I watched Horrible Bosses just before I went on to watch Mockingjay because, given everything that’s happening in the world right now, I didn’t want to be too grim and angry when I went in. I needed a palate cleanser and Horrible Bosses was a good one. I didn’t go in there expecting anything because, sequels. But then I saw Chris Pine as a rich douche whose dad is Christoph Waltz, who is also a rich douche and I was sold. Maybe it was because it’s a really cool and really funny film (it is) or maybe it was because I hadn’t gone to the movies in months but I was one of those people who LOL in the cinema house. I didn’t feel bad about it, I have a great laugh. Also, Chris Pine’s eyes are surely what the eyes of an angel look like right? Jason Bateman stole my heart as usual – he is comedy gold with that ‘serious/reasonable funnyman’ style of his. When the team get together to handle a super unlikely (at first) horrible boss and meet an even more unlikely (at first) ally – with appearances from previous movie faves like Motherfucker Jones, Dr McSlutty Aniston and the douchiest of them all – Kevin Spacey (dunno the characters name) I left the cinema satisfied and in stitches. Then my life got ruined… (Spoilers, duh.)

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I had about 10 minutes to run and go reload my popcorn and slushie arsenal before the next movie I was to watch, so I had about 5 minutes to adjust my mindset and put it in ‘teenagers in peril’ mode. I was looking forward to seeing how they’d pick up from the abrupt craziness that was Catching Fire’s ending. And although things felt a little bit slow at the beginning (somehow this always happens to me when watching Hunger Games films) it picked up pretty bloody well. Boy, did it pick up! I’ve honestly, throughout the franchise, felt like a citizen of Panem, like I lived in the Districts. In that regard, the movies have definitely made me connect with the general people and struggles of all those people. Nobody knows ruin and picking up the pieces of the past like South Africans. Seeing District 12 and all the other districts actually in complete shambles and the riots… that really just made the films a bit more meaningful to me and truly those Games weren’t just about kids dying – which is so horrible as it is – they were about good ‘ol fashioned oppression. And we finally got to see that clearly. I finally got to feel it clearly and fully.

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Phew. Now that that dark rant is out of the way, let’s talk fave parts of the movie. Did anybody else feel like Gale was loitering about for like the first 45 minutes of the movie. Like all he did was follow Katniss around in silence – he had like five lines that whole time. It was bordering on creepy, like a creepy ex boyfriend you’re forced to hang out with cos you’re in the same friendship circles. Don’t get me wrong I love me some Hemsworth screen presence but as hot as he is (and he’s VERY hot, getting hotter I think even) I felt really awkward for him tbh. For a long time i felt ‘This guy’s role is useless here’, but then they went back to District 12 and it was Gale’s moment. I didn’t expect to see another kissing scene between Gale and Katniss but there it was and it was sweet as usual (who doesn’t wanna see two good looking people tonsil hockey, aimiright?) And it seems Katniss didn’t expect it either. But Gale did. “I knew you’d kiss me… [Katniss: How? I didn’t.] Because I’m in pain – that’s the only way I get your attention. Don’t worry, Katniss, it’ll pass,” he says all croaky voiced and teary-eyed. And then like nothing happened he went on to talk about how he helped save the people of District 12 and all the mayhem and there was strength and sureness and I was like ‘I get it, I get you, Gale. You’re useful’.

And the of course there were many more moments where I cheered and got emotional and everything was so intense and hard to take in – mostly my body reacted to all of it though severe goosebumps and a large lump in my throat (I cried once).

A round-up of my Goosebump moments: 

  • When Katniss and her team (count meeting the team in this as well, especially Maegory from Game of Thrones) visit a dilapidated hospital in District 8 where many are injured and even more are dead. The Capitol attacks (obvi) and Katniss retaliates and we get to see the return of the beloved bow and arrow! 🙂

“If we burn, you burn with us!” OMFG.

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  • When Katniss and Gale kiss and he frees himself from the chains of indifference that are her love, I died.
  • When Finnick speaks about  his life as a Capitol male prostitute – oh that poor sweet favourite of mine.
  • Haymitch, Finnick and Joanna’s small spots in the film were so welcome and familiar
  • And did anybody see the people of Joanna’s District [7] go into the woods for their daily work? That sh*t escalated quickly. Those guys can sure climb a damn tree – also, 80% of them are hot lumber jack beard guys, wtf.
  • When Peeta gets rescued – by Gale who volunteered to be part of that suicide mission – and comes back only to try to effing kill Katniss!
  • And the storming of The Capitol’s reservoir by all those Districts people, sacrificing their lives – wow.
  • The haunting beauty that is the Hanging Tree song – Lorde be damned.

Needless to say, there were a lot of highlights for me watching this film and if there were any low lights I did not care for them because I was too busy being blown away by awesomeness and feels. Mockingjay Part I is well worth the watch and I cannot wait for the final instalment!

 

Film: Drinking Buddies

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Two weeks ago, I think, during a moment of soppy-ness I watched this film that I’d been really looking forward to seeing. Of course it’s probably weird to say I was going through a soppy phase but I watched a movie that isn’t strictly rom-com/soppy/happyending. This is because it wasn’t the kind of soppy-ness that’s self destructive and makes you feel super damp as a human, it’s the kind of down to earth, ‘I could still totally hit the bar in a healthy way right now’, self-aware kind of soppy. Sidenote: I used the word ‘soppy’ a lot in this paragraph and I’m sorry but I’m too lazy to search for something to replace it with from my brain archive.

Drinking Buddies is a very chilled watch – I didn’t necessarily feel anything while I was watching it and although I thought the characters were such cool people that I would definitely want to hang out and beer it up with, I didn’t really care for them much. And for me, that’s great. It’s realistic, you don’t have to fall in love with all the characters in the world and dote on them – it’s fine to just dig their vibe, full stop. When I saw the trailer for Drinking Buddies (admittedly, they had me at ‘Drinking Buddies’) I got the general feel of everything but they didn’t give away how everything was going to happen – trailers do that these days! So see the trailer – it doesn’t have spoilers like every other movie from 2010-2014.

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Olivia Wilde is a gem as this really laid back, guys’ girl who chugs beer and likes to play pool – but she is not a ‘plain Jane’. Screw that term, I hate it and I hate all the writers that create stupid plain Jane, damsel in distress characters! Nobody is a plain Jane. She is a confident and good looking girl with a boyfriend – and it is not a toxic relationship. Her work best friend, played by Jake Johnson, – yay, is like the dude version of her. But… they’re human. And there are work crushes and there’s work intimacy and lines are blurred. But not in the way one would expect – it’s nothing like the Friends With Benefits/No Strings Attached blurring of lines, all ‘Ooh, let’s have casual sex and assume there won’t be any consequences then get super freaked out and surprised when we fall for each other’. No. This is about two good friends, both in relationships with people they care about but have nothing in common with, it’s fun times.

Like most of the ‘misplaced girl’ movies I watch, I can relate to Olivia Wilde’s character – not in relation to her surroundings and relations with other characters, but as a stand alone individual. I love that she dates for fun and doesn’t think of weddings and offspring from the moment someone says ‘I like you’. I like that she’s an  outgoing person and loves to see other people happy (and drinking beer). I love that she does what she wants to do and does not apologise for who she is because she’s not hurting anyone by being her zany, awesome bromosexual self. It’s that kind of self love that isn’t obnoxious and imposing but super chilled and enigmatic that makes me appreciate a flawed female character even if I’m not really obsessed with her. And that’s one of the many reasons I loved this improvised Sundance-esque film. 🙂

Wilde with Jake Johnson in Drinking Buddies.

Liveblogging Man of Steel

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man_of_steel_wallpaper_5_by_jonesyd1129-d61rrztLiveblogging my viewing of Man of Steel

I first saw the trailer for this film floating around my facebook and YouTube and it caught my attention. It looked like a really kick ass visual spectacle. So after my mate Nolly asked me in a slightly flustered fangirl voice if I’d watched Man of Steel, I decided I had to watch it and I had to watch it properly. So I waited for it to come to Box Office on DS. And Here’s what happened when I finally beheld Zack Snyder’s eye buffet of a film with the very handsome, very muscley Henry Cavill and one of my fave actresses, Amy Adams and her trusty pointy nose, and of course the other cool people I don’t really care about.

FYI: I watched this film with my friend Sibo and her old-school aunt, so there are some comments from her and some grunts from Aunty.

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20:00 I’m very excited to see this film. It’s more dark than your usual Superhero movie but that’s because that’s just the kind of director Zack Snyder is.
Oh, okay… Looks like it’s gonna be cool. I don’t know who the hell Zack Snyder is.
*side eye/blank stare*

20:01 Whoa.
Is this woman having sex?…
*slight shock and disgust*
She gives birth funny.

20:07 Ooh, Gladiator dude saving the day in a spandax thingy.
Krypton looks like a weird ass place to live in. Why are there babies in eggs, underwater. Euw.

20:10 Was that the babies peepee?
Don’t peadophiles watch superhero movies?
Hmpf.

20:19 Planet Earth, finally.
Mxm.

20:20 *singing* This man is on fire!
Digging that beard big time, Supersexy.

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20:24 Alright, this guy’s body is kinda ridiculous. I am at the gun show right now. Front row seats.
I’m a little uncomfortable with his raw manly sexuality.
I want to conduct a thorough study of his raw manly sexuality. On him.

20:31 He knows you can’t just save a girl from a sleazebag and not expect her to want to bear you sons, right?
I would not be the bigger man and walk away in that situation.

20:33 This movie cuts to other scenes a lot.
What’s Amy Adams doing here? Who’s at American Hustle?
Shhhhh.

20:39 Stupid stupid! What were you doing following a random male into a cave in the middle of the night?!
I honestly hope she dies here.
I’m sad she won’t. Supersexy is gonna rescue her. Yawn.

20:43 That’s the look of a man who just realised his father is The Bodyguard and his biological father is The Gladiator. Beast.

20:50 I feel like he’s BEEN flying though.

20:53 Ooh, angry teen.
They’re ruining Superman’s public image.
This scene makes no sense, is this man gonna make his family watch him die? His son is Clark Kent.
That’s stupid. Everyone in this scene is stupid. I give up.

21:01 What do you call people from Krypton?
Kryptonians?
Well, it seems the creepy, dramatic entrance Kryptonians are finally here.

21:10 Why are superhero WAGS so annoying? Was that the gong from Hunger Games?
Did you just say superhero WAGS? Kill yourself! Hahaha.

21:12 This movie is starting to bore me.
I’m hungry and I need fight scenes, like yesterday. Pretty visuals aren’t enough.
*stops watching*

21:17 Wow, check out that 300 throwback with the skulls. Well played, Zack Snyder.
Americans should really reconsider their pronunciation of the word duty.

21:28 Omg, action! Finally!
I was about to go to bed. I can’t be wasting my life, I have work tomorrow.

21:33 That was awesome. I enjoyed that! Violence rules.
Never say that in public.

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21:45 Did she just stop to watch a falling building?
Morpheus shouldn’t save her.

21:53 Badass Kryptonian chick is gonna kill all these guys. And it’s gonna look awesome.
I really wish she kills Lois Lane.
Me too.

21:55 Oh, look, the classic Superman saving a sky falling Lois scene.
Oh, kissing strangers with tongue.
I wonder if Henry Cavill has a wife and if yes, how has she not imploded from being turned on too much?
Yeah… I mean like really. Look at him.

22:00 General Zod thinks he’s so major. But he’s so minor. Minor guy with a silly hairstyle. Kick his ass, Superdude.
He does look very strange. His face is distracting. And he’s way to dramatic about everything.

22:04 Finally! Someone speaks up about Superman’s hotness situation!
Yes! Everyone in this movie has just been so jealous for not speaking up.

22:07 Ugh, this is ridiculous, Lois isn’t supposed to know Clark is Superman!
God, he is so sexy.
Too sexy. It’s wrong.
Ugh, my brain is exhausted. Let’s watch Geordie Shore.

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