Monthly Archives: October 2014

Fellow citizens of Passive Aggressiva…

Standard

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adjective
of or denoting a type of behaviour or personality characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.

A defense mechanism that allows people who aren’t comfortable being openly aggressive get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them.

Google AND Urban Dictionary, suhn!

Disclaimer: This is a Passive Aggressive post.

I am a passive aggressive person too, hence my post title but I don’t over-do it, I overdo a lot of things, like cyber stalking and eating junk food so I’m not afraid to admit when something is a bad habit. Actually I’m more aggressive-aggressive than passive aggressive, but I digress. A lot of people have made a bad habit of being passive-aggressive. Motivational quotes are cool, complaining about awful people is okay, being thankful for your fortune is excellent. But posting about it everyday in this annoying, self righteous, sub-texty way? Brakes on that one.

People that have ‘moved on’ with their lives. Uhm… Okay… Yeah, we see that through all the pictures you’re posting of your new life. Newsflash: Everybody has a new life because we’re all adults now. While I have no doubt that you meet some people for a season or a reason or whatever that bumper sticker smut is, I’m not sure about those guys that overstate how happy they are about this ‘moving on’ obsession.

TheOnesThatWalkAwayAreOnlyMakingRoomForTheOnesThatWont_zpsee32d64c

Yeah, we’re all glad you’ve moved on, tbh but why are you so vigorously informing everyone of this? Who is it directed to? Surely your new life acquaintances don’t need to know about this horrid past life of yours and your old life acquaintances don’t care about your feels – which is why you chucked them in the first place. Keep your personal ghost affirmations on your bedroom walls please, you’re not doing yourself any favours by taking on the Carly Simons ‘You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you’ high road. You’re making everyone feel weird for you. Stop.

Another thing, sub-tweet crazy Religiosos. Wow, my religious friends can be PA and always with a big PA smile. It’s like, dude, if you’re gonna judge me, please judge me to my face like a man. Like posting these little ‘motivational messages’ that are just filled with judgment and ‘You should probably be living your life like me, though’ undertones honestly sends me chuckling. I saw this one post from one of my PA friends:

soulties

And I was like, no way, you’re having a laugh mate. You mean, for all the beautiful enlightenment religion brings you don’t see the prejudice and sexism in this creepy ass, prudish image? Now, I’m sure ‘soul ties’ are a thing. In fact I believe they are but this agenda-pushing doll photo is not what they’re about. Respect our intellect. Also, I know it’s not a coincidence that you’re posting this on Sunday/Monday just after most of your timeline has posted a flurry of photos of groove and good times involving alcohol and opposite sex canoodling. Shame on you.

Hater-surrounded, Humble braggers, please give us a break! Have you ever noticed how most humble braggers tend to be the same people who have haters? Having haters is the most passive aggressive thing that has ever happened, really. Who are these people that dedicate their lives to raising their noses at your achievements, bruh? And why do you feel the need to always tell them how lucky you are and how eternally honored you are? Name these people and leave us out of it! (Also, name these people because I love to see a good fight :P). Stuff like, ‘I have so much love for my haters’ and ‘Money walks, haters talk’ (which doesn’t even make sense) confuse the crap outta me. Like whoever came up with this and obviously the other people that post it religiously:

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Really? You think a whole human is that jealous of you? This can’t be a stranger, obvi so why don’t you just tell this person to stop ‘hating’, whatever that means, and stop humble bragging about how supposedly awesome you are and hinting about how envy-worthy your life is and how much your success has brought you haters. Euw.

There are a lot of situations and ways in which we use social media to hide and throw stones from the high towers of our macs and being passive-aggressive is one of them. Do it, becuase it’s human and inevitible. Don’t overdo it, nobody cares, you’re being annoying and petty. Shut up and eat your salad.

And with that, my rant ends. 🙂

Side not: We’re all guilty of this, guys. It’s chilled. But not really 😉

XOXO

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