Alright, before you panic this post is not dark and end-of-your-line-y. It’s not about being a failure in life or not winning at love and work. I’m just here to goof off about those phases we all go through that aren’t really evident of a successful and well functioning adult, those sulky, kinda irresponsible, probably naggy, highly emotional phases we go through when nothing is going our way. The 20something’s seasonal guilty pleasure of self indulgence and mild self pity, i.e letting yourself go (hello, sweatpants and showerless weekends). Here are some signs that you’re slowly (or quickly) getting into a social and physical slump… #fml
- Being on antibiotics and actually being very upset that you will not be able to continue your gross tradition of using wine as a pick me up slash sleeping meds for a whole week.
- Leaving the house looking like Charlize Theron’s character in Young Adult and feeling completely okay about it. And being unashamed about leaving the shopping complex with a shopping bag full of snacks and two pizzas in your epic get-up.
- Asking yourself tough questions like ‘Where the hell does laughter come from? What is it even? And why am I extremely attracted to boys who make me do such a thing? There must be a documentary on this.’ Out loud.
- Feeling sorry for couples like, don’t they miss alone time? Shame.
- Singing Mumford & Sons’ ‘I will wait’ while preparing your less than healthy dinner. Because you’re actually singing the song to your less than healthy dinner. That can’t be right.
- Binge-watching Girls and Geordie Shore and having similar sentiments towards both. Good and Bad.
- Falling into old, childish habits you haven’t done in maybe even years. Like having to delete unfamiliar numbers from your Contact list after a night out. What the actual f?
- Thinking about your ex in any way. Which usually leads to internet stalking. And maybe even contact. Bleh.
- Watching The Croods and crying when the dad gets separated from his family. Like ugly crying until your throat gets sore. Even though, through the tears and hiccups, you’re busy telling yourself it’s a kiddie movie and people don’t die so there’s no reason to be this emotional.
- Exhausting the wine stash and the snack stash in one go. And then also destroying the reserve stash. Shame on you.
- Going days without showering. This is not Oppi, get your act together.
- Tumblr.
(Night trolling angry teen blogs? Seriously, man.)
If any of these apply to you or if you’ve done any of them, 1) Don’t feel bad, you’ll get out of it sooner or later and 2) I think you’re awesome for letting yourself feel all your feels and wallow for a bit. Now go ahead and rock your bad hair days in all your sweatpant swagger like you are being paid for it. [Then hurry and get over yourself ;)]
Zoe The Writer 